Guilty as charged

I saw this picture and thought, this is so me.

I'm so often guilty of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

Ok so first of all I have to admit that I totally stole this idea from another blog, one of my recent favorites. But as soon as I saw it and read through it ( a few times) I knew I had to post it for myself.

Ok here goes....

I feel bad about it because I'm not sure its possible to feel this way and feel grateful for what you do have at the same time. Is it?

Its so hard, especially for women to not compare ourselves to our fantastic friends who seem to have it all together. Its even more difficult to not want a body like hers, or a gigantic house that would have lots of closets to hide all our junk.

We put so much pressure on ourselves to want to be someone else, when we're missing out on who we are right now.

So- like it or not:

this is me:

I'm married to a good man, we may be having a tough time right now but I am very certain that we will both work through this and come out stronger people , I have three very cute kids- that I could not imagine not in my life, I was meant to have each one of my kids and they together make me complete. I wish I could say more about them, I get jealous of my friends ( who will remain nameless) who can post beautiful wonderful well written blog posts about their kids. I have a very hard time going into depth descriptively about them. I do know that I need more patience when it comes around to a certain time at night when I just need to relax, I also know that I need to give Skyler more alone time to be able to show me all the new grown up big boy things he's learned or is in-to. I am perfectly content right now renting a home, I no longer have any desire to buy a house. I do however need to find a home that I can feel more comfortable entertaining in. Trust me, If I had a better designed home, I would invite you all over a lot more! I don't really mind my mini-van. I am thankful to have a working car but it drives me crazy that every car I have owned in Maine has rusted after a winter with me. I also really wish I had a automatic closing side door like all my friends do.

I wish I knew how to do more things- I resent my mother for not letting me have the opportunity to do more growing up. I now have to learn how to do everything I want to do as a adult. At least I know better for my kids.
I keep a pretty clean house, I wish I wasn't so OCD about certain things when it comes to cleanliness though. I wish more than anything that I could shut off my brain when there are a few dishes in the sink and my kids want me to color with them. Brain- Why do I have to clean those dishes now? No-one is coming over to visit and the kids could care less- so why do I need to clean them right now? My kids want to play with me!

I can speak publicly- I'm fine with it. Ask me to say the opening or closing prayer anytime, anywhere in public and it's a much different story. I can't even think about it.

It doesn't take me very long to get ready for the day. I do like to take a shower every morning just to feel clean and refreshed. I wish more than anything that I could have my hair blow dryed every day but it rarely happens. To all my maine friends- all your hair looks great- every day, honestly!

I can not leave the house until every room is picked up entirely, including all laundry in the basket downstairs, all garbage taken out of the bathrooms and all beds made. And there have been many many times that skyler has just made it to school on time because of this. The kids know this about me and I'm sure they think every mom is this way but I feel horrible about it.

I can pray to my Heavenly Father on a constant basis, but it is very hard for me to read the Book of Mormon on a daily basis.

I have a great life, and from now on,

I'm gonna love the grass on my side.